Mediation and Divorce – Managing Settlement Offers and Communications Between Parties

What Is Mediation?

In a divorce-related mediation, a neutral third party, most often an experienced family lawyer, helps the parties resolve their claims through negotiation, rather than by having issues decided by a judge in a trial setting. The mediator does not have the same role as a judge; he or she cannot make rulings in the case and cannot order either party to take any particular action. Instead, the mediator acts as a facilitator, managing the settlement offers and communications exchanged between the parties, and helping them identify common goals and bridge gaps to reach an out-of- court settlement.

Does Litigation Have to Be Filed In Order To Mediate?

Almost all divorce-related claims, including child custody, child support, alimony and equitable distribution, may be mediated. Parties may decide to voluntarily mediate these issues before any litigation is filed, and if they reach a settlement at mediation, the terms can be memorialized in a private agreement. In fact, it is not uncommon for separating spouses to take that route, and it can be a cost effective way to resolve divorce-related claims.

While resolving claims through pre-litigation mediation has its benefits, it is not always advisable in every case. For example, if the opposing party is not making full and fair disclosures about financial matters, then litigation may be necessary. In that situation, once a complaint has been filed, parties are able to serve formal discovery under the applicable court rules. Formal discovery is a tool available to litigants that allows them to obtain information and documents relevant to the pending claims. Discovery tools include requests for production of documents and written questions called “interrogatories” that are answered by the opposing party. As part of the formal discovery process, the judge may compel a party to respond to discovery requests, and the judge has the authority to impose sanctions on a party who refuses to comply. When litigation is pending, parties also have the ability to obtain information and documents through subpoenas and depositions. At Gailor, Hunt, Jenkins, Davis & Taylor, PLLC, we assess whether a divorce- related matter is one in which a pre-litigation mediation is appropriate on a case by case basis after a thorough discussion of the facts and circumstances with our client.

What Should I Expect During Mediation and How Should I Prepare?

Both sides should expect mediation to take a long time, usually all day, and in more complex financial cases up to several days. Often clients are concerned that they will have to sit in a room all day with their ex-spouse, but that is not the case. Typically in a family law matter, where emotions can be highly charged, the mediator keeps the parties in separate conference rooms and communicates the offers back and forth between the two rooms. In our practice, rarely do the clients meet jointly with the mediator during the process, other than an occasional but very brief informational meeting at the start of the day in which the mediator gives the participants an overview of the process.

Come to mediation as prepared as possible. Cooperate with your attorney to provide the information and documents that the attorney needs to prepare in advance. For example, if your case involves division of property and spousal support issues, give your attorney documents that support your property values, your income and your budget and go over these with him or her. The mediator and/or the other side will ask for this information in order to assess the offers. Being able to back up your position with documentation usually helps persuade the other side to compromise. Also mediation is usually more productive when supporting documents are exchanged with the other side in advance, so work with your attorney to determine what should be exchanged beforehand. In addition, before mediation, make sure you have a candid discussion with your attorney about what is important to you and what you would like from the process, while at the same time taking into account your attorney’s assessment of the settlement value of your case. Going into mediation, you should have a realistic understanding of your likely “best case” and “worst case” scenario in court, including an estimate of how much in attorney’s fees and costs you will likely incur to litigate the issues if the case goes to trial. The financial expense and emotional toll of litigation should not be ignored when analyzing the settlement value of your case.

There is typically a lot of down time while the mediator talks with the other side. As a result, sometimes participants understandably get frustrated and fed up with the mediation process. Prepare yourself going in that this may happen in your case — keep an open mind and let the process play out before you call it a day. Often times the other party simply needs to feel they were allowed to tell the mediator their side of the story before true progress can be made toward settlement. An experienced mediator understands this, and is able to gauge when progress likely can still be made as opposed to when settlement negotiations are truly at an impasse. If you give the mediator time to do his or her job, you will have a much better chance of settling your case in mediation.

Nicole Taylor is a Certified Mediator for Family Financial Cases and a partner at the law firm of Gailor, Hunt, Jenkins, Davis & Taylor, PLLC in Raleigh, N.C. She can be reached at 919-832-8488 or via email at ntaylor@divorceistough.com.

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The Focus on Finances through Divorce by Wake County Divorce Lawyers Gailor Hunt Jenkins Davis & Taylor

Keep Your Eye on the Ball… The Focus on Finances through Divorce

There are nearly one million divorces a year in the United States alone, involving billions of dollars of asset division and financial settlement arrangements.  Oftentimes, when an individual is faced with a divorce, the thought of so many changes occurring so quickly can make anyone want to hide his/her head in the sand.  However, finances and the financial dissolution of your marriage should be placed at the top of your “to do” list and considered the most important “action item” of your divorce.

It is critical that no matter how you feel emotionally about your divorce, that you “keep your eye” on the financial “ball” so to speak.  Your financial security is at stake.  Remember that old saying, “if you can’t take care of yourself, then you can’t take care of anyone around you.”  This is particularly true regarding financial considerations, especially for spouses with children.

First and foremost, create a reasonable budget for yourself and your children (where applicable).  This budget should be based on your pre-marital lifestyle.  At this juncture, you should also identify all of your liquid assets (an asset that can be converted to cash fairly easily), expenses and sources of income.  Liquid assets may include your home and other properties, cars and other vehicles, as well as your bank, securities and some retirement accounts.  Tax considerations will also be evaluated, particularly regarding capital gains and the potential sale of assets.

You do not want to begin your new life with bad credit or cumbersome debt if at all possible.  A credit report will identify any credit problems and any accounts of which you might not have been aware.  Make sure that you collect at least the last five years of your personal and business tax returns, checking and savings account information (including your children’s), expense accounts, brokerage statements, and the like.  Collecting all of this information can be daunting and burdensome; however, your financial well-being is in the balance so make this initiative a priority.

Because finances are at the core of most marital dissolutions, it is important that you remain focused on finances throughout your divorce.  Retain a proven divorce attorney who understands asset valuation and property division, as well as the many tax and other considerations that will make up your final financial settlement.  If you suspect your spouse is hiding assets, consult your attorney regarding a possible action plan to address this problem.  Your livelihood is on the line, so approach the financial aspects of your divorce head-on in order to avoid costly financial mistakes that will impact your future.

To learn more about family law and divorce, bookmark DivorceIsTough.com website by the lawyers of Gailor Hunt Jenkins Davis & Taylor LLP.

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Preparing for Your Day in Divorce Court by Raleigh-based family lawyers of Gailor Hunt Jenkins Davis & Taylor

Your Day in Divorce Court – Be Prepared

Divorce is stressful, and trial can create added pressure and anxiety.  You and your attorney have spent extensive time and resources preparing your case and compressing the details of your marriage into what will result in just days — or even hours — of trial.  Your attorney will prepare you for what it is to come, and now the day has arrived… you go to court.  Set forth are three simple tips to help you prepare for your day in court.

  1. Know where the courthouse is located.

Make sure you know how to get to the courthouse, through security and to your specific courtroom.  We realize this idea might sound totally obvious, but for many of our clients, a divorce proceeding is the first time he/she has actually been to the courthouse or dealt with the court system in any way.  You must know not only how to get to the courthouse, but also where to find parking, as well as estimate any additional time you need to deal with potential traffic delays.  It is important to arrive at the courthouse on time and dressed appropriately (like you were attending a job interview) in order to make a positive impression on the Judge.

  1. Keep your cool.

 When you are in court, the most important person to control is yourself.  Commit to keeping your emotions in check for your own benefit.  Try to respond to all questions in a calm and respectful manner with the highest degree of accuracy.  Avoid dramatic or emotional facial expressions and/or outbursts.  Do not roll your eyes or mutter under your breadth… you will be surprised how difficult it is to maintain your composure in a divorce proceeding.  Have faith that although justice is blind, your trail Judge probably is not.  Particularly when you are on the witness stand, stay calm and focused even if you feel hostile toward your spouse and his/her attorney, or they behave antagonistically toward you.  Keeping your cool on the witness stand is usually indicative of someone who has nothing to hide.

  1. Stay open-minded.

Even though your domestic case has gone to trial despite all of your best efforts to settle amicably, make sure you keep your options open.  No matter how long your domestic case has gone on or how contentious is may have been, you can still make prudent choices.  Talk with your attorney about your options.  Do not let emotions and/or anger ruin your chances of a settlement just before or during trial, even if the other side has been pervasively acrimonious in the past.

In divorce, the emotional and financial stakes are high.  Make sure you have selected the right legal counsel to represent you through trial if necessary.  There is no substitute for clear legal guidance from a trustworthy counselor who understands how divorce plays out, both in and out of court.  Retain  a proven and dedicated family law/divorce lawyer with an established record of successful outcomes.  In court, the loudest voice does not necessarily prevail and adversarial tactics are usually not appreciated by the Judge.  A Judge’s job is to ensure a final resolution that is both fair and just, not one that is dictated by the lawyer who makes the most noise.

To learn more about family law and divorce, bookmark DivorceIsTough.com website by the lawyers of Gailor Hunt Jenkins Davis & Taylor LLP.

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Absolute Divorce Explained by Raleigh Divorce Lawyers

Raleigh-based family lawyers of Gailor Hunt Jenkins Davis & Taylor explain the requirements for Absolute Divorce.

When a marriage ends in North Carolina, the easiest part of the legal process is getting divorced. North Carolina is a “no fault” divorce state, meaning either spouse is entitled to a divorce so long as certain statutory requirements are met.The most common way to obtain an absolute divorce in North Carolina is to be separated for one year. Under N.C. Gen. Stat. §50-6, a judge or clerk may grant a divorce judgment if husband and wife have lived separate and apart for one year, with the intent of at least one spouse not to resume the marital relationship; that is, that the separation be permanent.The term “separate and apart” is relatively straightforward, meaning husband and wife must reside in separate locations. Simply put, one of the spouses has to move out. Less straightforward is the question of whether one or both spouses intended to end the marital relationship. Our courts have decided that isolated social interactions between separated spouses do not restart the one-year countdown. Likewise, isolated or casual intimate interactions between separated spouses also do not count against the one-year separation. If the court finds that the spouses have been separated for at least one year with the intent of at least one spouse that the separation be permanent, and at least one of the spouses resided in North Carolina for at least six (6) months immediately prior to filing of the lawsuit for divorce, a North Carolina court will grant the divorce.The other, and far less common, way to obtain an absolute divorce in North Carolina is to show that your spouse suffers from incurable insanity. Under N.C. Gen. Stat. §50-5.1, a divorce may be granted if husband and wife have lived separate and apart for at least three years because one of the spouses is confined or being treated for incurable insanity.

To learn more about family law and divorce, bookmark DivorceIsTough.com website by the lawyers of Gailor Hunt Jenkins Davis & Taylor LLP.

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Rights of Military Spouses

These protections are especially important when addressing child custody and divorce issues.

North Carolina has adopted the Uniform Deployed Custody and Visitation Act which, among other things, prohibits the court from using a parent’s past deployment or possible future deployment as the sole basis for deciding child custody. The Act also provides a quicker process for courts to address the custodial issues of a parent who is preparing for deployment. If a custody action is filed prior to deployment, the matter is given an expedited hearing.

The Act also allows parents to address custodial issues arising from deployment by a special, temporary agreement or contract. This agreement must be in writing, signed by both parents, and filed with the court; it will automatically expire upon return of the deployed parent. In the agreement, the parents can allocate caretaking authority to a nonparent, which means another family member of the deployed parent could exercise the custodial or visitation time normally afforded to the deployed parent. The parents can also agree to allow electronic visitation between the child and the deployed parent.

With regards to divorce, a military spouse could delay the proceeding under the Servicemembers Civil Relief Act (SCRA). SCRA applies to any individual who is called to active duty for more than 30 consecutive days. Under SCRA, when a lawsuit is filed against a deployed spouse, and the deployed spouse has never made an appearance before the court, the court may not enter a default judgment against the deployed spouse without first appointing an attorney to represent him or her. A “default judgment” means any ruling or decree that is adverse to the deployed spouse’s interest, including a divorce judgment. If the deployed spouse has made an appearance, he or she could still ask the court to suspend the proceedings for at least 90 days, or reopen the judgment for further action within 60 days upon his or her return from deployment.

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Rights of Military Spouses in North Carolina Reports Raleigh Child Custody Lawyer

Raleigh, NC – Several North Carolina and Federal laws provide extra protections for individuals who are in the military. These protections are especially important when addressing child custody and divorce issues.

North Carolina has adopted the Uniform Deployed Custody and Visitation Act which, among other things, prohibits the court from using a parent’s past deployment or possible future deployment as the sole basis for deciding child custody. The Act also provides a quicker process for courts to address the custodial issues of a parent who is preparing for deployment. If a custody action is filed prior to deployment, the matter is given an expedited hearing.

The Act also allows parents to address custodial issues arising from deployment by a special, temporary agreement or contract. This agreement must be in writing, signed by both parents, and filed with the court; it will automatically expire upon return of the deployed parent. In the agreement, the parents can allocate caretaking authority to a nonparent, which means another family member of the deployed parent could exercise the custodial or visitation time normally afforded to the deployed parent. The parents can also agree to allow electronic visitation between the child and the deployed parent.

With regards to divorce, a military spouse could delay the proceeding under the Service Members Civil Relief Act (SCRA). SCRA applies to any individual who is called to active duty for more than 30 consecutive days. Under SCRA, when a lawsuit is filed against a deployed spouse, and the deployed spouse has never made an appearance before the court, the court may not enter a default judgment against the deployed spouse without first appointing an attorney to represent him or her. A “default judgment” means any ruling or decree that is adverse to the deployed spouse’s interest, including a divorce judgment. If the deployed spouse has made an appearance, he or she could still ask the court to suspend the proceedings for at least 90 days, or reopen the judgment for further action within 60 days upon his or her return from deployment.

About Jonathan Melton, Associate

Jonathan S. Melton joined Gailor Hunt Jenkins Davis & Taylor, PLLC in 2013. Prior to joining the firm, he served as a judicial law clerk for the Honorable Richard A. Elmore of the North Carolina Court of Appeals. During his time at the court, Jonathan researched a variety of family law cases and applies this extensive knowledge to each matter he handles at the firm.

About Gailor Hunt Jenkins Davis & Taylor, PLLC

Founded in 1994, Gailor Hunt Jenkins Davis & Taylor PLLC is one of North Carolina’s most accomplished firms practicing exclusively in the areas of family law and domestic relations litigation.

Media Contact

jmelton@ghdivorcelawyers.com

(919) 832-8488

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Raleigh Divorce Lawyer Explains Custody: Legal vs. Physical

RALEIGH, NC / ACCESSWIRE / November 5, 2014 / In the United States today, approximately fifty percent of all marriages end in divorce. This increasing number of failing marriages gives rise to the need for divorcing parties to deal with a number of extremely sensitive, difficult and emotional issues, one of the biggest issues being custody. In North Carolina, custody is based upon what a Judge finds to be in the “best interests” of the minor children. The “best interests of the children” standard is described by North Carolina courts as the “polar star” for determining custody.

In North Carolina, custody is comprised of two concepts: physical custody and legal custody. It is important for separating parents to understand the differences between these two types of custody and how they might impact a party’s parental rights:

  • The term “physical custody” describes the actual amount of custodial time that a parent spends with his/her children. Physical custody may be shared equally or divided between the parties. Often one parent will be awarded “primary custody” of the children, meaning that parent has the children in his or her custody greater than fifty percent of the time, and the other parent is awarded “secondary custody” of the children, meaning that parent has custody of the children less than fifty percent of the time. In rare instances, a Court may award sole physical custody to one parent and strictly limit and/or prohibit the other parent’s visitation rights with the minor children.
  • The term “legal custody” describes the decision-making ability parents have regarding their children. Like physical custody, legal custody may be shared equally between the parties or one party may have sole decision-making authority. Legal custody addresses the ability of parents to make important life decisions for their children. These types of decisions include but are not limited to those regarding health/medical, education and religion. Most often legal custody is shared equally between parents. This means that neither parent may unilaterally make major decisions for a child without first discussing and reaching a mutual agreement with the other parent. Although shared legal custody is typical in custody cases, there are instances where a Court may find that it is in a child’s best interest for one party to have sole legal custody. A parent who has been awarded sole legal custody is entitled to make the major decisions for a minor child without involvement from the other parent.

If you are thinking about or are currently involved in a dispute involving the custody of minor children, it is important that you seek the advice of a family law attorney who can more fully explain the intricacies of North Carolina law and how your case may be affected.

About Gailor Hunt Jenkins Davis & Taylor PLLC

Founded in 1994, Gailor Hunt Jenkins Davis & Taylor PLLC is one of North Carolina’s most accomplished firms practicing exclusively in the area of family law and domestic relations litigation.

Media Contact:

Tracy M. Cook

(919) 832-8488

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